Harry and Ted's Excellent Adventures
by Janie-ohio
Summary: Draco/Harry story. Don't like that, don't read! The number of amazing birthday experiences in Harry Potter's life could probably be counted on one hand, and most of those were somewhat recent. So if he wants to give his godson the birthday experiences he never had, who is going to stop him? Certainly not Teddy, because turning seven is EXCELLENT! Place in series: April, 2005.


If reading as part of "That's Life Together" timeline, this story takes place in April 2005.

* * *

_But there was one Elephant—a new Elephant—an Elephant's Child—who was full of 'satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions.  
_ _ \- from Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories, The Elephant's Child. _

The sun peeked through the curtains in the quiet bedroom in the little cottage in Devon. A little boy slowly stretched and turned over in his bed. Small arms reached out of the blanket, searching for a small stuffed wolf that had gotten away from him during the night. Teddy Lupin snuggled back in under the covers and cuddled his wolf, unsure if he was ready to get out of bed. It was cold outside his blankets, and he was cosy inside them. But today-

No. He was_ totally _ready to get up. Today was _the _day. Today he, Edward Remus Lupin, was turning Seven Whole Years Old. His party wasn't until tomorrow, Saturday, because Uncle Harry said that's when birthday parties were, but still. _ Today _was his birthday and that was So Excellent! He wasn't a little baby anymore, like Victoire. She always hung around him and pretended that she was just as grown-up as him, but he knew better. He'd let her think she was just as big as him, but that's just so she wouldn't cry like a baby because she was only five.

Teddy jumped out of bed to get dressed, then realized he'd better pee first, because oh gosh, he had to pee real bad. Grabbing on to the front of his pants, he made a run for it and made it just in time. It was a good thing, too, because Seven-Year-Old's did _not _go in their pants. While he was washing his hands, he heard his Gram coming up the stairs.

"Teddy! Is that you? Get dressed and come down for breakfast, please. There's someone here to see you."

"Yes, Gram, I'm just washing my hands. I have my birthday clothes picked out. I'm going to wear my Purple Shirt, and my Orange Trousers, and my Yellow Trainers, and…"

Teddy's Gram interrupted. "All right, just go put them on please and come downstairs. Seven-year-old boys need their breakfast."

Teddy's face broke into a huge grin. "Yes!" he yelled as ran back to his room to get dressed. "Seven!"

As he grabbed his clothes, he thought about his day ahead. It might not be a birthday party, but he was sure it was going to be The Best Day Ever! It always was.

Teddy raced downstairs, sure he knew who was there to visit him on his Seventh Birthday. Slowing to a walk before he got to the kitchen and his Gram caught him running in the house, he decided to walk very strong and tall. Maybe he'd pretend to be like Draco because Gram always seemed to be impressed with _his _manners.

The kitchen smelled amazing, with a full fry-up. Gram didn't do that often because she said it wasn't healthy, but a Seventh Birthday was a big deal, _ obviously_. Teddy walked slowly and carefully (just like Draco) over to hug his Gram.

"Thanks, Gram. It smells great. So, who's here? Is he hiding?"

Andromeda laughed. "Someone come to steal you off for a day of fun, I'm told. It's a special boy who gets such attentions, so make sure you behave yourself and listen and thank them."

Teddy's eyes got big. A special day of fun? _ YES_! He just knew today was going to be excellent. Because it _always_ was.

At that moment, Teddy felt two big hands grab him from behind and flip him up in the air and over a shoulder. He screamed in delight, immediately sure it was Uncle Harry. He had known he'd be coming, he _always _did, and no one else felt like this, so strong and loving all at the same time. He couldn't help laughing, no matter how much he tried.

"Uncle Harry! Put me down! I'm Seven Years Old now and I'm too old for this kind of thing."

"Oh, seven years old is too old for this kind of thing, is it?" Uncle Harry asked, then ran into the sitting room and threw him onto the sofa. "How about for tickles?!"

Teddy squealed even louder, "No!" but he didn't really mean it. He loved it when Uncle Harry played with him like this.

"Uncle Harry, Quaffle! Quaffle!"

"Oh, okay, fine. You said the special word. No more." Uncle Harry let him up. "Come on, let's get some breakfast before we head to the zoo."

It was all Teddy could do to remember that he was now Seven Years Old and that meant he did _not _jump up and down in excitement.

"Oh, the zoo. Yeah, that's cool. Sounds like fun."

Harry laughed and dragged him to the table. "Come on, kid. I'm hungry."

* * *

Harry stood outside the kitchen, waiting to surprise Teddy when he came down. He loved taking his godson for a special day every year on his birthday. It was healing in a way, and Hermione would probably say he was overcompensating. He didn't care because it was their special day and he was going to do everything he could to make it amazing.

He heard footsteps racing down the stairs, then silence. About twenty seconds later, Teddy walked into the room, attempting to walk very stately. There was something familiar about it, then Harry noticed the white-blonde hair and did all he could not to burst out laughing.

Teddy was trying to imitate Draco, and in the process, had morphed his hair to match. He listened to Teddy talk with Andromeda and was glad that he had come alone this morning. He loved watching Draco with Teddy, but they'd spend the rest of the day with all three of them together. This few minutes now was just his and Teddy's.

He couldn't resist any further and attacked. Grabbing him from behind, he tossed him over his shoulder and pretended to body slam him onto the sofa. Oh, the giggles and squeals. They washed away the stress of yesterday's work worries and the exhaustion of moving Draco into the house last weekend. The giggles and squeals were Everything.

Tickles followed the initial attack as he regrouped for a moment and hit again from the left flank. At that, the giggles moved into full belly laughs that made Harry's emotions soar. He did this. _ He _made this little boy happy, and it was just amazing. His heart swelled, and he just wanted to cuddle him, though he was sure Mr Seven-Year-Old would object.

"Uncle Harry, Quaffle! Quaffle!"

"Oh, okay, fine. You said the special word. No more." Harry released him. "Come on, let's get some breakfast before we head to the zoo."

The boy practically vibrated in excitement, and Harry tried to contain a grin and failed.

"Oh, the zoo. Yeah, that's cool. Sounds like fun."

Where did this kid get this stuff? _ That's cool? Sounds like fun? _

Harry snorted and pulled him over to the table to eat. "Come on, bud. I'm hungry."

Teddy dug into the breakfast in full imitation of his Uncle Ron.

"Edward Lupin! Mind your manners," Andromeda scolded.

"Yes, ma'am."

Harry smiled. Andromeda was doing an amazing job with Teddy, but Harry suspected that she was as happy as Harry was that he was able to take Teddy most weekends. She wasn't young anymore and hadn't yet fully recovered from her illness the previous autumn, so having the weekends to rest seemed to work for all three of them.

Draco moving in had just made the situation easier. He was as pleased as Harry to have Teddy around, and now Harry didn't have to worry about what he'd do if he got called to work suddenly while Teddy was over.

Looking at Teddy's sporting Draco's platinum blond hair, it was obvious that the boy was good with it, too.

Harry finished his toast and bacon, then chatted with Andromeda while waiting on Teddy to finish.

"You sure you don't want to come with us today? We'll be back to Grimmauld Place this evening for dinner and cake. You're more than welcome to join us."

"Thank you, Harry, but I'm not feeling well today. Nothing to worry about, just extra tired. You boys have a wonderful day together and a nice sleepover, and I'll meet you at the Burrow tomorrow for the party."

Harry scrutinized her more closely, worried she was underplaying the situation but satisfied she was only tired as she claimed. He nodded.

"All right, but let me know if you change your mind. You know you're welcome."

He turned to Teddy. "Ok, mate. Are you ready? Go brush your teeth and grab your bag, and let's go. Draco will give me a hard time if we're late."

"Draco will give you a hard time even if we're not late. Geez, you haven't caught on to that yet?" Teddy laughed and ran up the stairs before Harry could catch him, then stopped near the top and turned around with a smirk. "And I thought you had to be clever to catch criminals."

Harry chuckled, then looked at Andromeda. "When did he get so damned cheeky?"

"Oh, just wait. It's going to get worse. Seven is _fun_," Andromeda laughed.

Stomping on the stairs alerted them to his return, and Teddy had his bag on his back, his stuffed wolf peeking out.

"Come on, bud. Floo or Side-Along?"

"Apparate, please! That's so fun!"

Harry shook his head. Most hated Side-Along Apparition, but this kid had a stomach like a rock.

* * *

Seven hours later, Harry, Draco, and Teddy appeared in the back garden of Grimmauld Place. Harry imagined that they made quite the scene. Teddy was practically asleep on Harry's shoulder, his now-brown hair snuggled into Harry's neck, and Draco looked like Harry felt, as though he had been run over by a herd of Hippogriffs.

Draco looked at him with a raised eyebrow as they entered the house, putting down the huge bag of souvenirs he'd insisted on buying Teddy from the zoo.

"Potter, that was possibly the most exhausting day of my life, including the time during the war, and it's not even over yet."

"Just be glad it's just us and Hermione and Ron tonight. I already made dinner and you picked up the cake, right? So, it should be a quiet evening."

Draco looked at his watch and sighed. "No time for naps before they come over. I _ am _taking a shower first, though. You can't stop me. I can't imagine how I look at the moment."

Harry grinned at Draco and wiggled his eyebrows, getting an eye-roll in return.

He laughed. "Go, take your shower. I'll get him cleaned up and ready for dinner. When should we show him his present?"

"After dinner, I think. Just clean him up down here in the WC."

"Good idea. Come on, Teddy. Let's use the loo and wash up, yeah?"

Teddy raised his head and yawned. "Put me down, please. I'm seven, you know. You don't have to carry me."

"Of course."

* * *

"Uncle Harry, where's my new toys? I want to tell Aunt Hermione all about them," Teddy asked after dinner.

"Where _ are_, Teddy." Draco corrected. "Where _are _my new toys? And they are on the table in the hall."

"Thanks!" Teddy ran out of the room, and Draco sighed.

"Walk in the house, please, Teddy!"

"Give the kid a break, Malfoy. He's only seven. You don't have to correct everything," Ron scowled.

"I suppose if you don't mind him growing to be a six-foot-two, red-headed imbecile, then you're right. However, I prefer to help him grow to be worthy of his Black family heritage and welcome in polite society."

"Better than a bloody snobbish ferret with a Man Bag who—"

Harry grinned at Hermione, who was rolling her eyes, then looked at his best friend and boyfriend as he cut off the tirade. "If you boys don't quit flirting, I might get jealous. Now shut the hell up and just enjoy the evening."

Hermione hit Ron on the back of the head right as Teddy ran back with his new prized possessions.

"Look, Aunt Hermione, this is my new stuffed giraffe and I learned all about giraffes with their long necks that they use to eat the leafs off to top of the trees," Teddy eagerly crawled into Hermione's lap as he explained, "and this is my elephant and elephants use their noses to squirt water in their mouths!"

"That's great, honey! And did you know…" Hermione continued, while Ron just watched on with a smile.

Draco leaned over to Harry. "I'll go get the cake. Dim the lights when I come back in, and we can sing."

"Got it. Thank you."

"…Uncle Harry said we could go again this summer and maybe I'd get to see the new baby elephant they say will be born. Isn't that cool?"

"Okay, buddy, are you ready for cake?" Harry asked, dimming the lights as Draco entered, candles lit.

"Cake! Yes! That's bloody brilliant!"

"WHOA!" came four adult voices at once.

"Teddy!" Harry jumped in before anyone else could speak. "Where did you hear that, bud?"

"What? Bloody? You guys say it all the bloody time. And Uncle Ron said it just a few minutes ago. It's okay now that I'm seven years old, right?"

Everyone just looked at Harry. "Ah, yeah, no, Ted. It's not okay. It's an adult word, and we'll talk more about it later. For now, let's all just sit down and have some cake, okay?"

Harry could see Ron trying not to get caught laughing by his scowling wife, while Draco smirked as he set down the cake in front of Harry's filthy-mouthed godson. Harry sighed.

"All right. Make a wish and make it a good one. You only turn seven once."

Teddy squinched up his face real tight, and his hair turned black and messy as he blew out his candles. Harry's throat clenched up, and he looked at Draco. He could just imagine what the boy had wished for.

Draco leaned forward and gave Teddy a hug and a quick peck on the messy head. "Good wishing, big man. All right, chocolate cake for everyone."

"Yes, I bl—er, I really love chocolate cake!"

* * *

"Alright, Birthday Boy, it's time for your presents. You'll get the rest tomorrow at the party, but we each have one gift for you tonight. Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, do you want to go first?"

"Sure. Here you go, Teddy. I think you'll find this goes very well with your trip today."

Teddy unwrapped the package and found a big book full of large moving illustrations of animals. Hermione sat down on the floor and pulled him onto her lap. Harry felt as curious as Teddy appeared to be.

"When I was a little girl, my daddy sat with me each night and read me a story before bedtime. Some of my favourite stories were by a man named Rudyard Kipling, and they told stories about how animals became like they were. He called them _ Just So Stories. _ Just recently, I got a big surprise because I learned this man's stories were popular with wizards and witches too. This is a book of his stories. I thought you could have Uncle Harry and Draco read them with you."

Teddy flipped through a few of the pages, with a look of awe on his face. He jumped up and ran over to Harry. "Look, Uncle Harry! Here's one about an elephant like we saw today, 'The Elephant's Child'," he sounded out. "Can we read this one tonight, Uncle Harry? Please?"

Harry laughed and gave Hermione a huge thankful smile. "Of course." He gave the boy a hug, then Draco cleared his throat.

"Now what do you say?"

Teddy walked over and stood in front of Hermione. "Thank you, Aunt Hermione. This was a very lovely gift and I am sure I will get a lot of use out of it. It was very thoughtful."

And then he bowed slightly and quickly looked at Draco questioningly.

Draco nodded, and Teddy grinned and leaned forward to give Hermione and Ron each a hug. "Thanks," he said again with each hug.

Hermione just looked at Harry and Draco with amusement, and Harry couldn't help but grin. Teddy was showing Draco's influence lately, which really just augmented Andromeda's traditional teachings.

"Okay, our turn." Harry took Teddy's hand and sat him down on the sofa.

"Teddy, you know that we've been changing the house, and now that you are a big seven-year-old, it's time that you had your own room when you sleep here. Not that I don't like having you in my room, but I did that when you were little so you wouldn't get scared."

"And I'm big and brave now, so no offence, Uncle Harry, but I don't need to sleep in there anymore." He looked at Draco. "Do you get scared, Draco? Is that why you sleep in there with Uncle Harry?"

Draco just looked at the rest of the room with a death glare but toned it down as he turned to Teddy.

"Exactly," he said in his best Snape voice.

"Uncle Harry is good for that and to give you hugs if you have a nightmare, so that's a good idea." Teddy nodded as if it all made sense, while the rest of the room tried to keep a straight face and Draco attempted not to hex them all.

He looked back at Harry. "But where am I going to sleep then?"

"Well, that's part of your birthday present. Come on upstairs. Anyone else want to come along?"

* * *

Teddy took Uncle Harry's hand and they went up the stairs, past Uncle Harry's big room. There was a door at the end with a sign on it. It said "Teddy's Room". Yes, he was right! His own room at Uncle Harry's house! He knew it! Grown-ups always think they are so smart asking what your favourite colours are and stuff. Duh, he's seven now.

Uncle Harry opened the door and pointed to go in. It's was huge!

"Wow. Wow! Wow, bloody wow! This is excellent! Is this really mine? Seriously?"

"It'll be yours if you can curb that tongue, young man," Harry said sternly. "No more with the bloody. Next time you'll be in trouble."

Teddy was embarrassed this time. He had been so excited to be able to use the word that now he had to remind himself he wasn't really allowed. Man, seven got cheated on that one. Maybe when he's eight? It wasn't like he was saying the_ f-word _or anything.

"Got it. I'm sorry, I won't do it again. But this is really mine?"

"Yup. Go check it out."

Teddy ran and jumped on the gimungous bed, which was just as big as Uncle Harry's, but didn't look like it because the room was _huge_! Giggling, he rolled around, then immediately saw a bench under the window with pillows, and it was surrounded by shelves. Uncle Harry or someone had put lots of books on the bottom shelves, but without bending over was a shelf right in front of his face. It had so many pictures, and Teddy sucked in a breath.

They were all his family. Gram, Uncle Harry and Draco, and the Weasleys, but most, most of all, there were his mum and dad. Some of his mum with his Gram and Granddad he was named after, and some of his dad with some guys, one that looked like Uncle Harry but different, but there were some of just his mum and dad together.

He stood in front of the shelf for several moments, confused. He didn't know what he felt like, but he was seven and seven-year-olds shouldn't cry, and that's what he really wanted to do and he didn't know why.

It was so cool, like his parents were there, watching him. Like maybe they heard his birthday wish earlier that Uncle Harry was really his dad, and were okay with it. He looked at Uncle Harry and knew he needed to thank him for the room, and the pictures and the excellent birthday, but didn't know if he could.

Then he heard Draco's voice in his mind and decided he had to try.

"Thank you, Uncle Harry. It's really great," he whispered.

Harry took him over to the large over-sized chair in the corner. It was a really big chair, and if they tried hard, he thought Draco would even fit in the chair with the both of them.

"Teddy, did you notice the walls?"

He looked around and felt kind of confused. "Uh, They're just white. Am I supposed to notice them?"

"Well, that's the point. You get to pick how you want to paint them. You can paint just a colour, or you pick out pictures you want to be painted, or we can think of something together. A friend of mine said he'd paint whatever we wanted, so you get to choose. You don't have to know now, but when you do, we'll get it done and your room will be all yours."

"That's excellent. Thank you." He looked up and saw Draco watching. Right, manners. He got up and gave him a little bow, just like they practised. "Thank you, Draco. I really, really like my present."

Draco glanced at Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione for some reason, then smiled at Teddy and nodded. "You're quite welcome, Teddy."

Aunt Hermione cleared her throat. "Teddy, Harry, Draco, we're going to go home now. We'll see you all tomorrow. No need to leave this beautiful new room. We'll show ourselves out." She smiled and handed something to Draco. "But here, I brought the book up, if you'd like to break in the room with a story tonight."

That sounded like a great plan to Teddy, and he was feeling pretty tired. He couldn't wait to sleep in his new room. He had been right, this birthday _was _excellent. It _always _was.

He looked up as Uncle Harry got up. "Well, let's get settled in. Bath time and pyjamas, big man, then we'll read your new book."

_ Excellent. _

* * *

Harry settled in with a freshly scrubbed Teddy while Draco decided to clean up downstairs. He picked up the book Hermione had gotten him and opened to the first page.

"Well, bud, it appears there are a bunch of stories. Which one should we do tonight?"

"All of them!"

Harry laughed. "Umm, no. You need to pick just one tonight. Look, here's one about a camel, or here's a cat, and a kangaroo…"

"You promised we could read about the elephant. I want the elephant."

Harry just gave Teddy a look.

"Please."

Harry smiled. "All right, big man. 'The Elephant's Child' it is."

Harry turned to the page with a small elephant with a strangely drawn nose, the drawings moving around the page, much to Teddy's delight.

Harry began, "_ In the high and far off times, O Best Beloved, the elephant had no trunk _."

"How could he have no trunk? Is that why it looks so funny?"

"Why don't you let me read and find out?" Harry asked, then continued.

_ "He had only a blackish, bulgy nose, as big as a boot, that he could wriggle about from side to side; but he couldn't pick up things with it. But there was one Elephant—a new Elephant—an Elephant's Child—who was full of 'satiable curtiosity, and that means he asked ever so many questions." _Harry gave Teddy little push, playfully knocking him over. "Hey, Teddy, he was like you! You also ask ever so many questions."

Teddy giggled. "That's satiable curtiostitty?"

"Close enough. Anyway, let's keep going."

Harry continued, but they found that soon the elephant's child, who had gotten into trouble for asking so many questions ("You'll never get in trouble for asking questions, Teddy, don't worry."), had ventured off to look for the answer to his most pressing question: What does the crocodile have for dinner?

_ "Now you must know and understand, O Best Beloved, that till that very week, and day, and hour, and minute, this 'satiable Elephant's Child had never seen a Crocodile and did not know what one was like. It was all his 'satiable curtiosity. _

_ "The first thing that he found was a Bi-Coloured-Python-Rock-Snake curled round a rock. _

_ "'Scuse me,' said the Elephant's Child most politely, 'but have you seen such a thing as a Crocodile in these promiscuous parts?'" _

Harry snorted at that one, and the rest of storytime went something like this:

"What's so funny about promiscus parts, Uncle Harry?" **"Promiscuous. And nothing was funny. I just sneezed."**

"Is he a Parselmouth like you?" **"Hush. Perhaps elephants are natural Parselmouths."**

"I don't think the crocodile was very nice by putting his nose in his mouth. I think it's a good thing the Bi-Python snake was there to help." **"I'm sure it was."**

"He's spanking his aunts and uncles with his new nose! Whoa, if I grow a nose like that can I spank my aunts and uncles? Not you, of course, but maybe Uncle George? He'd think it's funny." **"Yes, he would, but no, you may not."**

Finally, the story came to an end. _ "…and ever since that day, O Best Beloved, all the Elephants you will ever see, besides all those that you won't, have trunks precisely like the trunk of the 'satiable Elephant's Child, _" Harry finished.

He took a deep breath and glanced down at Teddy, now sound asleep. Somewhere near the end of the story, he had tried to morph his nose into an elephant's, and the extra energy seemed to have pushed him over the edge into sleep. Luckily, his nose was back to normal and he wouldn't have to worry about what would happen if he slept like that.

He just stared at the boy on his shoulder and hoped that he had given him an amazing birthday. He had been worried about the pictures, that they might upset the boy, that maybe this wasn't the right day to set them up for him.

But it was fine, and it seemed to have gone over well. His hair had flashed between colours while looking at them, and seeing the familiar Lupin brown and Tonks pink had stabbed sharply in his heart, the memory bittersweet. When it finally settled in the favoured teal blue, Harry had relaxed. That was Teddy's happy colour, and it had stuck around the rest of the night.

Draco came quietly into the room and smiled at Harry.

"Well, that was well done, _ O Best Beloved _."

"You were listening?"

"Ha, I wouldn't have missed that for the world. That was fucking hilarious," he whispered. "Between you stumbling over all the odd words and his satiable curtiosity, I didn't think you'd make it through."

He leaned over and picked Teddy quietly up off Harry, carrying him to the bed.

Harry looked on, watching Draco with the boy and sighing in contentment. He walked over and kissed the child on his head, covering him and turning off the light.

Draco did a quick charm and sent fairy lights to twinkle on the ceiling to offer a soft glow, then took Harry's hand. "Come on, best beloved. I think you've earned a long shower and some quiet, at the very least. Honestly, who'd think that such a small boy could have so much energy?"

"Hey, he's Seven Years Old. I'm told by a very reliable source that that's practically grown. It must be why it's so much more work than six was. Bloody hell."

"Yeah, I wonder where he got that one?"

"Bugger off. Andromeda is going to kill me if she hears that." Harry yawned. "Shower, then bed. I can't believe we have to do this again tomorrow. Whose idea was this again?"

"Yours, I believe. '_Draco_,'" he continued in the stupid voice he used to mock Harry. " _ 'I am not letting him not celebrate on his actual birthday. It's an important day! _ ' What _is _it with you and making a big deal about it? You did the same thing last year as well, I believe."

Harry stayed quiet and moved about the room, readying for his shower.

"This has something to do with those damned Dursleys, doesn't it? Harry, did they ever acknowledge your birthday?"

"Once or twice. Any gift was usually more of an insult, like an old tissue or smelly sock. My first cake was from Hagrid when he brought my letter."

Draco growled under his breath, then came up behind Harry and rested his chin on his shoulder, sliding his arms around his waist.

"They are hateful people. And you, you are an amazing godfather. I know I tease you, but he is very lucky to have you. We both are. So, you have as many over the top birthdays with him as you want, and I will try to go along with it without bitching. Just don't ask me to read that story at the end, please."

"Yes, well. If he goes around slapping people in the ass with an elephant's trunk, I'm blaming Hermione."

"Too right," Draco agreed as he walked to the bed and pushed the cat off his pillow, swearing under his breath at the cat hair. "Now hurry up and shower so you can come back and give me hugs for my nightmares."

Harry leaned over for a quick kiss. "You're incorrigible. And thank you for doing this today. I know it's not your notion of an ideal day, but I loved having you with us."

"Potter, don't make me get sappy, you ass. You know I enjoyed it as much as you did. Now get the fuck out of here, before I spank you with _ my _trunk."

"Promises, promises, Oh Best Beloved. I might just hold you to them."

* * *

_**A/N: This story is part of a series: That's Life Together. Links and more information on my Author Profile.**_


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